Thursday, August 23, 2012

Early Mornings

One of the things I'm going to have to get used to about having a dog around is this early morning thing.  Last year, I took after one of my friends/coworkers who goes to work out in the morning.  The whole trying to work out between after school stuff and when my boyfriend (now fiance!) showed up around my house (and  I wanted to look AND smell pretty) wasn't working for me.  I found the beauty in early morning wake ups.

Now there's a dog at my house.  And between the lure of the back yard (read potty area) and the food he'll get when he gets back inside, Tex likes to wake me up early.  And I kinda dig it.  I've been making breakfasty food (peanut butter banana baked oatmeal last week, banana bread this weak).  I've done laundry.  It's quiet and gives me a chance to wake up slowly (especially versus the "get out of bed to put on clothes to get yourself to school by contract time of 7:25 me).

Speaking of which, my house is seeming a lot more homey and settled even in the past day.  Monday we broke down and rented a garage (read storage unit right outside my house!).  Camping stuff and stuff for our yard sale now has a place to GO.  We switched out my big ol' not so comfy chair for Frank's rocker recliner (which is MUCH smaller!). And I got some time to go through and pick up sit around stuff!  Yay!!!

Plus, I got some wedding planning stuff set!  We have a DJ, links to some decoration stuff and presents for our moms!

Engagement is weird.  My fiance gets to move stuff in (like his dog) but he can't live here.  We talk about Natural Family Planning a LOT but cannot do anything about it.  And sometimes it seems super weird that we aren't married yet.  Is this normal?

I guess normal in society's standards involves actually living together and having sex while you are engaged.  I'm all right not being that normal.  But let me clarify (morning no coffee brain is getting me here) it's not that I want to live together or have sex right now (but I'll be super excited when I can) it just feels weird that we aren't married already.

You know how stuff get's built up as super big in your head?  Then you get there they just happen and you kinda miss it? (Although at my best friend's wedding in '06 everything felt super big and like it was reality versus the dream feeling you sometimes get - I so hope ours is like that!)  I guess I'm wondering if all the changes that marriage brings will be as overwhelming when we get there as I thought that they would be.  Does it depend on the change?

Ok, now I need coffee!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

New Beginnings

I feel like my life is full of beginnings right now.  I'm engaged to the love of my life, he moved temporarily to THIS side of town (before he moves in December (how many days is that again,, the country decided to rewrite my job description with this common core business and there's a dog living at my house who *thinks* he's going to get to sleep on my bed - it may be a long night.  I feel it is a great occasion for a new blog to compile my thoughts and feelings on the crazy fast paced life that is mine.

I'm reminded of one of my favorite movie quotes that soothes me in these crazy in between times.  In "Hope Floats," Sandra Bullock (love her!) says, "Beginnings are scary.  Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts.  So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up.  And it will."  Which beginning should I choose?  Pet ownership?  The school year?  The upcoming beginning of my marriage and a new role in his family?

There are a lot to choose from.  And it doesn't seem like there's time to let hope float up.  We're running to inservice and marriage prep and NFP and family this and friend that.  And, in my 32 years, I've learned that I'm not that good at change.  I need to anticipate change.  Breath it in.  Picture it.  Imagine myself in it.  So God, as much as I've been begging and pleading for this engagement/marriage thing, could you let it slow down a little?  That'd be great.

Father's homily this morning at our diocesan teacher inservice was on trust and courage.  Please, Heavenly Father, give me the courage I need to face the beginnings that remind me more of the first week of college classes where your teachers throw the syllabus in your face and say, "here, read all this.  Tonight.  There will be more tomorrow."  Oh, that only happens to English majors?  Y'all missed out!!  Anyway, Papa, give me the grace and faith I need to let the hope float up.